A bigger, better Jesus

Robin Cook on Bush's "coronation":

...there is the sharp contrast between the self-indulgent hubris of the festivity and the fragile political victory which it celebrated. ...But among the balls, banquets and bangs there was not a hint of the humility that would be the essential starting point for a process of healing the deep political division of his nation. The message of the jubilations could not be clearer. He won another four years and was going to enjoy them, while the other side lost and was going to have to put up with it.

All the fundamentalist Christians out there must be pleased with Bush in office. He is a bigger, better Jesus than Jesus could ever have been.

Bush is infallible, never making a mistake. This power is confirmed when we consider that this miraculous characteristic extends to his helpers as well. It's more incredible than Jesus, actually, when we take into account all of the faults of Peter and Paul. Why couldn't Jesus make his disciples infallible?

Like Jesus, Bush knows how to have a good time and accept showers of kingly praise. Didn't Jesus throw something like a big party when he was making bread and fish and jugs of wine magically appear? Wasn't Jesus also "coronated" on Palm Sunday as he rode through Jerusalem? Well, no need to get all upset about a few millions on Bush's inaugural ball, eh? Just adjust for inflation over the last 2000 years, and the exchange rate of moving from Roman denarii to American dollars, and it would probably turn out that Bush spent less than Jesus' Dionysian bashes.

And, like Jesus' relations with the moneychangers in the temple, Bush does have a tendency to just go off and attack people, although I don't believe Jesus justified his rampage by calling the moneychangers "terrorists" who "hate" freedom. But maybe this is just an example of contemporizing for the 21st century. It looks like all we need to do now is wait for Bush to start showing up in sandwiches in Miami before we start building churches to him.

So, good going, fundamentalist Christian soldiers. Thanks for keeping us safe from all the evil that's going around these days - and putting someone who thinks he's more righteous than Jesus in the White House.

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