21.1.04
Can't someone else do it?
In his SOTU address, Dear Leader said he wants to channel millions of dollars more to "abstinence programs" aimed at making teenagers ignorant of contraceptives. He also wants to spend money and time to fight gay marriages and continue with the "war on drugs". Incredibly, he has decided to get the government in the business of supporting religions by pledging billions of dollars to "faith-based" charities.
So Bush has now promised an expanded global "war on terror", which will lead to hugely increased military spending, "homeland security" measures costing billions, a revived space program that will cost an astronomical (ha ha) amount of money, rebuilding and prolonged occupation of Iraq, federally funded abstinence programs (which, when these ignorant teens begin having unwanted pregnancies because they don't know how a condom fits on a schlong, will waste even more money in social costs), time and money invested in anti-gay "defense of marriage" initiatives, anti-drug campaigns, billions in promoting religion, and god only knows what else, all on top of massive tax cuts.
Promising voters an impossibly silly number of things with no money to do them all. It reminds me of another politician who ran for the office of sanitation commissioner once. But will voters really fall for it and buy into all of Bush's pie-in-the-sky schemes?
I suggest that Bush adapt the sanitation commissioner's little tune to plainly explain to skeptical voters what his next administration will be doing:
Can't someone else do it?
I'm convinced - Bush/Cheney 2004.
(Apologies to readers and Matt Groening)
In his SOTU address, Dear Leader said he wants to channel millions of dollars more to "abstinence programs" aimed at making teenagers ignorant of contraceptives. He also wants to spend money and time to fight gay marriages and continue with the "war on drugs". Incredibly, he has decided to get the government in the business of supporting religions by pledging billions of dollars to "faith-based" charities.
So Bush has now promised an expanded global "war on terror", which will lead to hugely increased military spending, "homeland security" measures costing billions, a revived space program that will cost an astronomical (ha ha) amount of money, rebuilding and prolonged occupation of Iraq, federally funded abstinence programs (which, when these ignorant teens begin having unwanted pregnancies because they don't know how a condom fits on a schlong, will waste even more money in social costs), time and money invested in anti-gay "defense of marriage" initiatives, anti-drug campaigns, billions in promoting religion, and god only knows what else, all on top of massive tax cuts.
Promising voters an impossibly silly number of things with no money to do them all. It reminds me of another politician who ran for the office of sanitation commissioner once. But will voters really fall for it and buy into all of Bush's pie-in-the-sky schemes?
I suggest that Bush adapt the sanitation commissioner's little tune to plainly explain to skeptical voters what his next administration will be doing:
Who can slash social spending?And who will pay for this all?
Stomp it down for you?
Stand against gay marriage and save the sacred-thingy "I do"?
The Republican Man!
Yes the Republican Man Can!
The Republican Man can
And he does it with a smile
And always judges you.
Who can fight all these wars?
I don't mind at all!
Who can conquer space before the Chinese grab it all?
The Republican Maaaaan!
Yes the Republican Man can.
The neo-conservative folks
Are jolly imperial blokes.
Aggressive, not easy-going
They'll spend when the budget's oh-
-ver flowin'!
And ignore it when their arse is showin'!
Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
The Republican Man can!
Coz he's George Bush, man!
He cleans the world....for....you!
Can't someone else do it?
I'm convinced - Bush/Cheney 2004.
(Apologies to readers and Matt Groening)
